December 21, 2025; Matthew1:18-24; 4th Sunday of Advent
Two things happen in today’s Gospel. There is a revelation, and there is an act of grace. The revelation comes about through an angel. The act of grace belongs to Joseph. The Gospel tells us that Mary was betrothed to Joseph. Betrothal in Jewish culture was very different than our modern-day engagement before marriage. Betrothal meant entering a legal bond that carried the same responsibility and expectations as marriage. So, when Joseph discovered that Mary was with child, there seemed to be only one explanation. She had broken the bond, and the child that she was carrying was from another man.
Now an angel appears to reveal that Joseph’s understanding was incorrect. Mary had not broken her bond with him. The child that she was carrying was the result of a miracle by God. Joseph accepted the angel’s words and took Mary as his wife. Joseph’s understanding of the situation was shown to be incorrect by the revelation of an angel. This revelation in the gospel is meant to remind us that we never know the whole truth about any person or situation. We only partially understand what is troubling our spouse, what our children need from us, why a longstanding friendship comes to an end, or why certain people belittle us and treat us poorly. But based upon the information we have, we draw conclusions: this person is unreasonable or obsessive or not worth the time of day. We live our lives making judgments on partial information, and we cannot depend upon an angel to reveal to us the full truth.
This is why the action of grace by Joseph is so important and valuable to us. Although he believed that Mary had betrayed him, Joseph did not attack or seek to punish her. The gospel tells us that he was unwilling to expose her to shame and decided to divorce her quietly. Although he felt he was deeply wronged, Joseph acted with mercy. He chose to end his marriage in a way that would cause the least pain to the woman he felt had betrayed him.
You and I are called to follow Joseph’s example. There are people in our lives who have hurt us or who ignore us. There are those who have made decisions that we consider wrong and have caused us pain. We are living in a society that is becoming more divisive and violent, with more and more people willing to target and belittle others who think and act differently. In the midst of this painful upheaval, Joseph stands before us and reminds us that we do not have the whole truth about any person or situation. It is therefore wise to lean toward grace and mercy, to bend rather than attack, to listen rather than reject, and to forgive rather than retaliate.
Now, of course, all of us have the responsibility to live according to what we see as true and good. But when we follow Joseph’s example and lean toward grace and mercy, our actions are never wasted. For our actions then model those of our God who in grace and mercy has loved us enough to give us his only son.